Step Away

"I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn to do it." - Picasso

Bit by bit, we are moving into our new home. Every day, we unpack or clean or construct something. After a week in Pennsylvania, we are still surrounded by boxes, but the shape of a dwelling place is beginning to surface.

As we move in, I'm also trying to become familiar with my surroundings and adapt to a new school and curriculum. It's is a lot to do all at once.

I'm trying to be patient with myself and remember that I'm learning, and that learning is not neat or linear. There are many unexpected developments. My expectations are merely estimates. Learning does not always feel like measurable progress. In fact, my feelings about my new life change from day to day.

Viewing myself as a learner helps me live under grace. This is very important. I'm committed to working hard, but I'm also relying on the grace of God to meet me when I work. So far, I have not performed as well I had hoped, in any area. But I know from experience that this matters less than I think it does. Instead, it's far more important to pace myself as I keep taking another step forward.

When I become overwhelmed or discouraged, I also need to take a break. I need to take a nap or go out for coffee or look at something interesting. I need to step away, physically and mentally. After many years of striving towards goals, I finally understand that I don't need to fix the feeling of being overwhelmed or discouraged. If I can step away and rest, then I will have enough energy to take the next step forward. That single tactic is better than all other solutions which might be applied to "fix" or "cure" my perspective.

Everything that happens to me can be a source of learning, if I let it be. I'm a life-long learner on a path of learning. And learning includes making mistakes, taking longer than I expected, and being concerned about progress. But if I manage my learning stress by stepping away for recovery, this will help me persevere.