Journal for the Journey

As smoke and dust clear from the first six weeks of this semester, I'm putting together a refreshed edition of my beloved bullet journal which has kept me so well for the past year—with a firm hope that I can sustain a balanced life, even in this rigorous, doctoral program. From past experience, I know that I must write my way through difficulties and challenges, disappointments and triumphs, in order to remain whole. I must write my way through every research project, my heavy course load, and my dissertation.

I need to create a space that lets me "talk" about my experience in a highly personal manner. I need to notice and express  emotions and spirituality, not just academic and vocational progress. Unless I'm careful, I can become so consumed by work that I lose myself in the battle to get it done. How easy it is for me to live as though my life is all about the battle and nothing but the battle! Over time, such devotion brings me no advantage. It drains my enthusiasm, strength, resilience, flexibility, creativity, humor, and compassion. At the same time, I know that eliminating the work is not a viable solution, because the work itself matters. What I need is a third space, which is neither work nor home, where the noise of the world is hushed, and I can "come in out of the wind," as C. S. Lewis once wrote. More than anything else, writing about my life and my work  is the key to creating this third space.


Regardless of what anyone else might think, I am a writer. I write in order to learn, to think, to find my way, to know myself, to make a contribution, to shine light in dark places, and to know God better. I am a writer in the marrow of my bone. Writing is how I weave a worthy life out of the tangled threads that have come to me across time and space. I weave as I write, and I weave from what I write.

Here on the page, I find my heart’s rest, where it beats still quietly and steadily. Here I know that I am real, and the storms which have washed over me have not taken me away. I am a writer in the breath of my soul. Here I am, and here I shall be found, all my days.